It is almost certain that we will have to deal with aggressive people in our lives. Aggression arises during a conflict when one person feels the need to protect their interests or fight to gain something, often at the expense of others. So let’s be clear that aggression is something at our expense.
First of all, you can recognize an aggressive person if:
Unfortunately, we can’t avoid these people. So we need to find a solid balance between assertiveness and empathy to deal with them. Follow these 5 steps to master the art of dealing with aggressiveness.
Fighting fire with fire will only make things worse and spur the other person’s aggression. A few tips for staying calm, even when you feel like you’re bursting with anger:
Call it as you see it. Don’t go along with the conversation as if nothing is bothering you. However, you need to point out that the other person is being aggressive with an empathetic statement rather than agitating them even more. Avoid using the words ’you’ or ’your,’ and try something along the lines of:
If you do this early on, it will help knock them out of the place of being unaware of themselves and be more conscious of what they are doing. As a result, it can help the person be more open to hearing whatever you say.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and try to understand the reasons why he/she is being aggressive. As we mentioned above, aggression is a natural reaction in order to protect or claim something. Try to consider:
It might sound contradictory that you can be empathetic and assertive, but one doesn’t exclude the other. Understanding the other person’s position does not mean you will allow them to be aggressive.
If someone is overtaken by their emotions, they lose sight of the matter at hand and how the whole argument even started! By focusing the conversation on the important things and facts, you are helping the other person revert to thinking and reasoning. For example:
Preview photo credit Tom Conger/Flickr