A broken heart is definitely not the most positive emotion in the world, and sometimes it feels that new love is going to cure all the pain immediately and forever. But is that really so? WeGoRo found several really important reasons why you shouldn’t rush into relationships.
Before you start dating (or even just looking for) a new person, you should always ask yourself a very important question: “What for?“ And if the answer is something like ”Oh, I feel so lonely," you should really reconsider your approach. Learn to enjoy time spent just with yourself. It’s perfectly ok to feel happy being alone.
You don’t need another person to make you feel happy. Join a club (yoga, craft, board games, etc), start learning a new language, or find a volunteer or charity organization to make you feel happy and satisfied. Surround yourself with interesting people, and then your choice won’t be based on the fear of feeling lonely.
Another bad answer to the question “What for?“ is ”I want someone to love me." Wrong! No one can ever love you more than you can love yourself. It is not about being selfish or having huge self-esteem. It is about accepting and loving yourself just as you are, with all your flaws and imperfections. It is about learning not to compare yourself with others and not trying to fit into someone’s image of you.
This is where positive affirmations from Louise Hay will work. You are perfect as you are. And if you let this rule guide you through life, you will meet exactly the right person exactly when you are ready for them.
It might sound terrible, but when you think about it, it’s what we do. We feel comfortable hanging around someone’s place or crying on the shoulder of that cute guy. Then we start thinking that it’s probably HIM...but it’s not. You can spend some time redecorating your house or meeting up with friends who can make you feel better, but don’t make it a reason to rush into new relationships.
"It’s time for you to move on." How often do we hear this in some popular drama? Usually, that is where all the problems start because moving on doesn’t mean starting to date someone just to forget about your previous relationships. It means starting to do something with your life that makes you feel happy and confident (see above).
You feel perfectly happy being alone, and you know exactly what you are going to do with your life. But society makes you feel awkward.
You feel like you are missing out on something when your best friends get married or your favorite TV show characters have kids. Romances end with "and they lived happily ever after," and you don’t even have a date. You want to experience all this, and so you rush into a new relationship with a new guy. Just put it on pause for a while. It’s your life that matters, not the TV show.
Illustrator Alena Tsarkova for BrightSide.me