When we get married, we get offered a lot of advice and ideas about rules that supposedly determine how to lead a happy family life: what to do, when and how to do it, and what you definitely shouldn’t do. But maybe it’s a better idea just to ignore all of this and not get caught up in overanalyzing everything?
WeGoRo has pinned down some so-called "inalienable laws" of family life that you can and should break. Try it — you’ll enjoy it!
People who advise you to never lie to your partner probably don’t follow this rule themselves. Everyone lies — that’s the truth. Keeping silent and leaving things unsaid also counts as lying. Just imagine how much irritation you could both avoid if you don’t bring up all the little details at those moments when it won’t actually help to do so.
The urge to occasionally behave like a "weak woman" for your man can unintentionally turn into an excessive degree of infantile behavior. Remember — you married your partner as an equal. Don’t turn into a capricious child; be yourself.
You might sulk for a long time over a trifling matter, but you can "make up" in a way you enjoy. The reasons for conflicts in relationships, after all, can appear out of thin air — and this is a good way to let such petty squabbles go. Don’t pretend it doesn’t do the trick!
If you want to take a break from each other, do it. Spending time together is important, of course, but you should only do so when you actually want to. Quality is more important here than quantity.
There’s nothing worse than forcing your partner to share your interests. If he doesn’t like going to the theatre or to exhibitions and you have absolutely no interest whatsoever in sport, then both of you should do your own thing separately. That way, both of you will be full of positive emotion, and that will seriously improve the atmosphere at home.
There’s no need to pass over all your grievances and complaints in silence. If you do, one day that particular land mine will go off unexpectedly, and then you’ll have a serious conflict. Speak about the thing that you’re not happy about straightaway. Be honest, and you’ll soon learn that many seemingly "forbidden" subjects can be brought to light without arguments and be solved peacefully.
Parents should, of course, always be there for their children when they need them and care for and protect them as much as they can. However, you shouldn’t simply forget about yourself and your partner when you have kids. Set aside one evening a week, or at the very least once a month, just for each other.
Supporting each other shouldn’t be a case of jumping through hoops. The most important thing is to feel positive emotions. If you genuinely get a whole lot of pleasure simply out of lounging around on the couch together at the end of a tough week, then no one has the right to condemn you.
Many people take the idea of "working on your relationship" far too literally. Some couples end up spending a lot of their time having overly serious conversations about where they’re going wrong, whilst others are too eager to rush off for joint sessions with a relationship counselor. But the most important thing you should actually do during difficult periods in your relationship is to rest, let go of your problems, and avoid creating new ones. That way you won’t feel the need to let a third person into your relationship.
Illustrator: Darya Barabanova for BrightSide.me