Have you ever noticed that good people often aren’t well respected? They help others out, they’re patient, they don’t hold grudges, but for some reason they constantly feel upset and lonely.
Psychologists believe the reason for this is mistakes in the way such people behave. WeGoRo has outlined their reasoning for you with the help of some illustrations.
You suppress your own needs for the sake of peace, but the world simply doesn’t notice. And when people offend you, you feel uncomfortable before the guilty party. This approach will inevitably mean that people will upset you over and over again.
You don’t seem to feel it when people bump into you, or you close your eyes to these little uncomfortable moments. But someone who is rude by nature won’t love or respect you for that. So why are you putting up with it?
People who have a pathological need for approval from others subconsciously give out signals that there’s something wrong with them. And people who others think have something wrong with them are usually avoided by virtually everyone.
You automatically believe people are right, except when it comes to yourself. You put the responsibility for what’s going on around you on yourself. No one’s going to thank you for this. But taking advantage of you and making your life even harder might be easier for others under such circumstances.
Emphasizing your virtues and begging for respect is the basis for a dependent relationship. In trying to convince those around you that you’re a good person, you’ll end up getting only rejection. Even if you really are a good person.
You don’t want to upset anyone even if it comes at the price of making you unhappy. You pretend everything’s ok to prevent others from worrying that you’re not satisfied. And the result is that you’re very often not satisfied.
You’ve become accustomed to adjusting to other people’s needs and find it difficult to understand what your own desires really are. You don’t decide for yourself what you do, and instead you take others’ wishes for your own. This is akin to an inability to make decisions and to a taste of helplessness, and it’s far from the true definition of kindness.
You forgive others because it’s easier to do so than to stand up for yourself. When other people show disrespect toward you, you find an excuse for them in your mind.
You’re turning your relationship into a cult, sacrificing yourself. And what’s more, you feel comfortable doing so. This may be why bullies, narcissists, and egoists gravitate toward you: because you allow yourself to be used.
You don’t accept the fact that respect doesn’t have to be the result of actions or behavior. You don’t feel comfortable when your relationship with someone is one of equals because you’re firmly convinced that respect has to be earned. You feel that a person has value only if they’ve given something back.
Illustrator: Yekaterina Ragozina for BrightSide.me